The Code of the Geeks 3.12
By: Robert A.Hayden hayden@krypton.mankato.msus.edu.
The HTML version of the Geek Code 3.12 has been format-
ted by Dylan Northrup and by Marinais next.
Last updated: March 5, 1996.
The Geek Code has been accessed times since December
30, 1995.
So, you think you're a geek, eh? The first step is to
admit to yourself your geekness. No matter what anyone says,
geeks are people too; geeks have rights. So take a deep bre-
ath and announce to the world that you're a geek. Your cour-
age will give you strength that will last you forever.
How to tell the world you're a geek, you ask? Use the
universal Geek Code! Using this special code will allow you
to let other `uncloseted' geeks know who you're in a simple,
codified statement. The single best way to announce your ge-
ekhood is to add your Geek Code to your signature file and
announce it far and wide. But be careful, you may give other
geeks the courage to come out of the closet. You might want
to hang on to your copy of the code in order to help them
along.
A NOTE OR TWO FROM THE AUTHOR
Well, here it's, finally, ver. 3.x of the world-famous
Geek Code. Yes, it's taken me much longer to write the new
version than it should have. Yes, the old version was hope-
lessly out of date. I apologize. A combination of too much
schooling followed by college graduation delayed it. In add-
ition, there were almost 2,000 suggestions and comments on
ver. 2.1 to wade through for consideration in this version.
However, I'm a grad student now (Education Technology, Man-
kato State University), so I have a lot of time on my hands
(yeah, right!).
It's my hope that this new version will be much superi-
or to ver. 2.x. One of the main problems with ver. 2.x
wasn't that it was too long (well, it's too long, but that's
irrelevant), but much of its length was attributed to nonge-
ek categories (such as `barney').
One of the goals of ver. 3.x is to eliminate many of
the nongeeky and unimportant categories in order to make ro-
om for geeky traits. `More geek, less bullshit' is a good
motto. In addition, many of the categories (such as polit-
ics) were very poorly developed. These categories have been
revamped and expanded to make them more fully cover all the
requisite areas.
Finally, despite my opinions to the contrary, I've left
some of the `appearance' sections in. I'd like to think of
looks as being not a very geeky trait, but it seems that
many of the users of the code use it as a litmus test for
dating or something. Thus, a Geek Code has become a replace-
ment for the classic `what do you look like' that once per-
meated the net. I've eliminated most of the categories, but
left the most important ones in. Hey, anything for my fellow
geeks...
In other news, the Geek Code is starting to go a main-
stream. It appeared with commentary in the February '95 is-
sue of `Boardwatch' magazine as well as the August '95 issue
of `Fast Forward', a supplement to `The Washington Post'.
I've also received permission requests from people that want
to translate the code into other languages; so far Japanese,
Russian, French and ADA (ew!). It's my hope that perhaps
this next year can bring a little more popular media exposu-
re and a true world presence.
Instructions
The Geek Code consists of several categories. Each ca-
tegory is labeled with a letter and some qualifiers. Go
through each category and determine which set of qualifiers
best describes you in that category. By stringing all of
these `codes' together, you're able to construct your over-
all Geek Code. This single line of code will inform other
geeks the world over of what a great geek you actually are.
Some of the qualifiers will very probably not match
with you exactly. It's impossible to cover all possibilities
in each category. Simply choose the qualifier that matches
you most closely. Also, some activities described in a spe-
cific qualifier you may not engage in, while you do engage
in others. Each description of each qualifier describes the
wide range of activities that apply, so as long as you match
with one, you can probably use that qualifier. After you've
determined each of your qualifiers, you need to construct
your Geek Code block. Instructions are provided on how to do
this towards the end of this file.
Also, pay particular attention to case-sensitivity,
there can be a big difference between a `w' and a `W'.
Variables
Geeks can seldom be strictly qualified. To facilitate
the fact that within any one category the geek may not be
able to determine a specific rating, variables have been de-
signed to allow this range to be included.
@ � For this variable, said trait isn't very rigid, may
change with time or with individual interaction. Eg., geeks
who happen to very much enjoy `Star Trek', but dislike the
old 60's series might list themselves as `t++@'.
() � For indicating `crossovers' or ranges. Geeks who
go from `C+' to `C---' depending on the situation (ie. most-
ly `C+') could use `C+(---)'. `@' is different from `()' in
that `()' has finite limits within the category, while `@'
ranges all over.
> � For `wannabe' ratings. Indicating that while the
geek is currently at one rating, they're striving to reach
another. Eg., `C++>$' indicating a geek that's currently
computer savvy, but wants to someday make money at it.
$ � Indicates that this particular category is done for
a living. Eg., `UL+++$' indicates that the person uses Unix
and gets paid for it. Quite a lucky geek, for sure.
? � Unless stated otherwise within the specific catego-
ry, `?' is placed after the category identifier and indicat-
es that the geek has no knowledge about that specific cate-
gory. Eg., a person that has never even heard of `Babylon
5', would list their `Babylon 5' category as `5'?
! � Placed before the category. Unless stated otherwi-
se, indicates that the person refuses to participate in this
category. This is unlike `?' variable as `?' indicates lack
of knowledge, while `!' indicates stubborn refusal to parti-
cipate. Eg., `!E' would be a person that just plain refuses
to have anything to do with Emacs, while `E?' would be a
person that doesn't even know what Emacs is.
Types of Geeks
Geeks come in many flavors. The flavors relate to the
vocation (or, if a student, what they're training in) of the
particular geek. To start a code, a geek must declare him or
her to be a geek. To do this, we start the code with a `G'
to denote `Geek', followed by 1 or 2 letters to denote the
geek's occupation or field of study. Multitalented geeks
with more than one vocational training should denote their
myriad of talents with `/' between each vocation (Eg.: `GCS/
MU/TW').
GB � Business
GC � Classics
GCA � Commercial arts
GCM � Computer management
GCS � Computer science
GCC � Communications
GE � Engineering
GED � Education
GFA � Fine arts
GG � Government
GH � Humanities
GIT � Information technologies
GJ � Jurisprudence (law)
GLS � Library science
GL � Literature
GMC � Mass communications
GM � Mathematics
GMD � Medicine
GMU � Music
GPA � Performing arts
GP � Philosophy
GS � Science (physics, chemistry, biology, &c.)
GSS � Social science (psychology, sociology, &c.)
GTW � Technical writing
GO � Other.
Some types of geeks deviate from the normal geek acti-
vities. This is encouraged as true geeks come from all walks
of life:
GU � `Undecided'. This is a popular vocation with in-
coming freshmen.
G! � No qualifications. A rather miserable existence,
you would think.
GAT � All Trades. For those geeks that can do anything
and everything. GAT usually precludes the use of
other vocational descriptors.
APPEARANCE
They say you never get a second chance to make a first
impression. That seems to be ample justification to invent a
time machine; just to play with the minds of the people that
make up these silly sayings. Nevertheless, until we comple-
tely understand temporal mechanics and can get both a DeLo-
rean and a Flux Capacitor in the same place at the same time
at 88 miles an hour, we need to understand that how we look
is a mark that will effect us for the rest of our lives, or
at least until we change clothes.
A geek, of course, doesn't believe any of that crap.
How we look has little to do with what we are inside and who
we are as people. Yet, people still want to know what we lo-
ok like. Thus, this section allows you to list out all the
relevant traits about what you look like on a normal geeky
day. people. Yet, people still want to know what we look li-
ke. Thus, this section allows you to list out all the relev-
ant traits about what you look like on a normal geeky day.
Dress
It's said that `clothes make the man'. Well, I under-
stood that I was made by a mommy and a daddy (and there's
even a category to describe the process below!). Maybe the
people who made up that saying aren't being quite that lite-
ral...
d++ � I tend to wear conservative dress such as a bu-
siness suit, or worse, a tie.
d+ � Good leisurewear. Slacks, button-shirt, &c. No
jeans, tennis shoes or T-shirts.
d � I dress a lot like those found in catalog ads.
Bland, boring, without life or meaning.
d- � I'm usually in jeans and a T-shirt.
d-- � My T-shirts go a step further and have a trendy
political message on them.
d--- � Punk dresser, including, but not limited to,
torn jeans and shirts, body piercings and promi-
nent tattoos.
dx � Cross dresser.
d? � I have no idea what I'm wearing right now, let
alone what I wore yesterday.
!d � No clothing. Quite a fashion statement, don't
you think?
dpu � I wear the same clothes all the time, no matter
the occasion, forgetting to do laundry between
wearings.
Shape
Geeks come in many shapes and sizes. Shape code is di-
vided into 2 parts. The 1st indicates height, while the 2d
indicates roundness. Mix each section to fit yourself.
s+++:+++ � I usually have to duck through doors/I take
up three movie seats.
s++:++ � I'm a basketball/linebacker candidate.
s+:+ � I'm a little taller/rounder than most.
s: � I'm an average geek.
s-:- � I look up to most people/Everyone tells me
to gain a few pounds.
s--:-- � I look up to damn near everybody/I tend to
have to fight against a strong breeze.
s---:--- � I take a phone book with me when I go out so
I can see to eat dinner/My bones are poking
through my skin.
Age
The only way to become a true geek is through practice
and experience. To this end, your age becomes an important
part of your geekness. Use the qualifiers below to show your
age (in Terran years). Also, please use BASE 10 numbers.
a+++ � 60 and up.
a++ � 50�59.
a+ � 40�49.
a � 30�39.
a- � 25�29.
a- � 20�24.
a--- � 15�19.
a---- � 10�14.
a----- � 9 and under (Geek in training?).
a? � Immortal.
!a � It's none of your business how old I'm.
In addition, if you wish to give your exact age, you
can place the number after the `a' identifier. Eg.: `a42'.
COMPUTERS
There's a record of geeks not using computers. Unfortu-
nately, they're all dead, having lived in an era of no com-
puters. All modern geeks have some exposure to computers. If
you don't know what a computer is, you need to go back into
your shell.
Computers
Most geeks identify themselves by their use of comput-
ers and computer networks. In order to quantify your geek-
ness level on computers, consult the following (consider the
term `computers' synonymous with `computer network'). This
category represents `general' computer aptitude. Categories
below will get into specifics.
C++++ � I'll be first in line to get the new cybernetic
interface installed into my skull.
C+++ � Do you mean there's life outside of Internet?
You're shitting me! I haven't dragged myself to
class in weeks.
C++ � Computers are a large part of my existence.
When I get up in the morning, the first thing I
do is logging myself in. I play games or MUD on
weekends, but still manage to stay off academic
probation.
C+ � Computers are fun and I enjoy using them. I
play a mean game of DOOM and can use a word
processor without resorting to the manual too
often. I know that a 3.5" disk isn't a hard
disk. I also know that when it says `Press any
key to continue', I don't have to look for a
key labeled `ANY'.
C � Computers are a tool, nothing more. I use it
when it serves my purpose.
C- � Anything more complicated than my calculator
and I'm screwed.
C-- � Where's the `On' switch?
C--- � If you even mention computers, I'll rip your
head off!
Unix
It seems that a Unix-based OS is the choice among most
geeks. In addition to telling us about your Unix abilities,
you can also show which specific Unix OS you're using. To
accomplish this, you include a letter showing the brand with
your rating. Eg.: `UL++++' would indicate a sysadmin running
Linux.
B � BSD (use this unless your `BSDish' system is
mentioned below).
L � Linux.
U � Ultrix.
A � AIX.
V � SysV.
H � HPUX.
I � IRIX.
O � OSF/1 (Digital Unix).
S � Sun OS/Solaris.
C � SCO Unix.
X � NeXT.
* � Some other one not listed.
U++++ � I'm a sysadmin. If you try to crack my machine,
don't be surprised if the municipal works de-
partment gets an `accidental' computer-generat-
ed order to put start a new landfill on your
front lawn or your quota is reduced to 4K.
U+++ � I don't need to crack /etc/passwd because I
just modified Su so that it doesn't prompt me.
The sysadmin staff doesn't even know I'm here.
If you don't understand what I just said, this
category doesn't apply to you!
U++ � I've get the entire sysadmin ticked off at me
because I'm always using all of the CPU time
and trying to run programs that I don't have
access to. I'm going to try cracking /etc/
passwd next week, just don't tell anyone.
U+ � I not only have a Unix account, but I slam VMS
any chance get.
U � I have a Unix account to do my stuff in.
U- � I have a VMS account.
U-- � I've seen Unix and didn't like it. DEC RULEZ!
U--- � Unix geeks are actually nerds in disguise.
Perl
If you enjoy at least `U++' status you have to know ab-
out Perl, so you might as well rate yourself in this subca-
tegory. Non-Unix geeks don't know what they're missing.
P+++++ � I'm Larry Wall, Tom Christiansen or Randal
Schwartz.
P++++ � I don't write Perl, I speak it. Perl has sup-
erseded all other programming languages. I
firmly believe that all programs can be reduc-
ed to a Perl `oneliner'. I use Perl to achieve
`U+++' status. status.
P+++ � Perl is a very powerful programming tool. Not
only do I no longer write shell scripts, I al-
so no longer use Awk or Sed. I use Perl for
all programs of less than a thousand lines.
P++ � Perl is a powerful programming tool. I don't
write shell scripts anymore because I write
them in Perl.
P+ � I know of Perl. I like Perl. I just haven't
learned much Perl, but it's on my agenda.
P � I know Perl exists, but that's all.
P- � What's Perl got that Awk and Sed don't have?
P-- � Perl users are sick, twisted programmers
who're just showing off.
P--- � Perl combines the power of Sh, the clarity of
Sed and the performance of Awk with the sim-
plicity of C. It should be banned.
P! � Our paranoid sysadmin won't let us install
Perl! Says it's a `hacking tool'.
Linux
Linux is a hacker-written OS virtually identical to
Unix. It was written for and continues to run on your stan-
dard 80386+ PC, but has also been ported to other systems.
Because it's still a young OS and because it's continually
evolving from hacker changes and support, it's important
that a geek lists his Linux ability.
L+++++ � I'm Linus, grovel before me.
L++++ � I'm a Linux wizard. I munch C code for break-
fast and have enough room left over for a ker-
nel debugging. I have so many patches install-
ed that I lost track about ten versions ago.
Linux newbies consider me a net.god.
L+++ � I use Linux exclusively on my system. I monit-
or comp.os.linux.* and even answer questions
sometimes.
L++ � I use Linux almost exclusively on my system.
I've given up trying to achieve Linux. God
status, but welcome the OS as a replacement
for DOS. I only boot to DOS to play games.
L+ � I've managed to get Linux installed and even
used it a few times. It seems like it's just
another OS.
L � I know what Linux is, but that's all.
L- � I have no desire to use Linux and frankly
don't give a rat's patootie about it. There're
other, better, OSes out there. Like Mac, DOS
or Amiga-OS. Or, better yet even, would be an-
other free Unix OS like FreeBSD.
L-- � Unix SUX. Because Linux = Unix, Linux SUX. I
worship Bill Gates.
L--- � I'm Bill Gates.
Emacs
GNU Emacs is the do-all be-everything editor/OS avail-
able for just about every computer architecture out there.
E+++ � Emacs is my login shell! M-x doctor is my psy-
chologist! I use Emacs to control my TV and to-
aster oven! All you Vi people don't know what
you're missing! I read alt.religion.emacs, alt.
sex.emacs and comp.os.emacs.
E++ � I know and use Elisp regularly!
E+ � Emacs is great! I read my mail and news with
it! regular editor.
E- � Emacs is too big and bloated for my tastes.
E-- � Emacs is just a fancy word processor.
E--- � Emacs SUX! Vi forever!
E---- � Emacs SUX! Pico forever!
World Wide Web
It's relatively new. It's little understood. Everybo-
dy's doing it. How much of a Web-surfer are you?
W+++ � I'm a Web-master. Don't even think about trying
to view my homepage without the latest version
of Netscape. When I'm not on my normal net con-
nection, I surf the Web using my Newton and a
cellular modem.
W++ � I have a homepage. I surf daily. My homepage is
advertised in my.signature.
W+ � I have the latest version of Netscape and wander
the Web only when there's something specific I'm
looking for.
W � I have a browser and a connection. Occasionally
I'll use them.
W- � The Web is really a pain. Life was so much easi-
er when you could transfer information by simple
ASCII. Now everyone won't even consider your
ideas unless you spiff them up with bandwidth-
consuming pictures and pointless information
links.
W-- � A pox on the Web! It wastes time and bandwidth
and just gives the uneducated morons a reason to
clutter Internet.
Usenet News
Usenet, a global collection of flaming opinions and
senseless babble, was designed as a way to eat up precious
spool space on a system hard drive. It's also a way for peo-
ple to distribute pornography.
N++++ � I'm Tim Pierce.
N+++ � I read so many newsgroups that the next batch
of news comes in before I finish reading the
last batch, and I have to read for about two
hours straight before I'm caught up on the mor-
ning news. Then there's the afternoon...
N++ � I read all the news in a select handful of gro-
ups.
N+ � I read news recreationally when I have some
time to kill.
N � Usenet News? Sure, I read that once.
N- � News is a waste of my time and I avoid it comp-
letely.
N-- � News SUX! 'Nuff said.
N--- � I work for `Time Magazine'.
N---- � I'm a scientologist.
N* � All I do is reading news.
Usenet Oracle
Info taken from the Usenet Oracle Help File.
Throughout the history of humankind, there've been many
Oracles who've been consulted by many mortals and some im-
mortals. The great Hercules was told by the Delphic Oracle
to serve Eurystheus, king of Mycenae, for twelve years to
atone for the murder of his own children. It was the Oracle
of Ammon who told King Cepheus to chain his daughter Andro-
meda to a rock to appease the terrible sea monster that was
ravaging the coasts. That solution was never tested, though,
as Perseus saved the girl in the nick of time.
With the advent of the electronic age, and especially
high-speed e-mail communication, the spirit of the Oracles
found a new outlet, and we now recognize another great Orac-
le, the Usenet Oracle.
For more information, check out the newsgroups rec.hum-
or.oracle and rec.humor.oracle.d or the FTP-archives at cs.
indiana.edu:/pub/oracle. Additional information and instruc-
tions can be found by sending an e-mail message with the
subject of `help' to oracle@cs.indiana.edu.
o+++++ � I'm Steve Kinzler.
o++++ � I'm an active Priest.
o+++ � I was a Priest, but have retired.
o++ � I've made the Best of Oracularities.
o+ � I've been incarnated at least once.
o � I've submitted a question, but it has never
been incarnated.
o- � I sent my question to the wrong group and got
flamed.
o-- � Who needs answers from a bunch of geeks anyhow?
Kibo
Kibo is. That's all that can be said. If you don't un-
derstand, read alt.religion.kibology.
K++++++ � I'm Kibo.
K+++++ � I've had sex with Kibo.
K++++ � I've met Kibo.
K+++ � I've gotten mail from Kibo.
K++ � I've read Kibo.
K+ � I like Kibo.
K � I know who Kibo is.
K- � I don't know who Kibo is.
K-- � I dislike Kibo.
K--- � I'm currently hunting Kibo down with the in-
tent of ripping his still-beating heart out
of his chest and showing it to him as he di-
es.
K---- � I'm Xibo.
Microsoft Windows
A good many geeks suffer through the use of various
versions of Microsoft's Windows running on or as a replace-
ment for DOS. Rate your Windows geekness.
w+++++ � I'm Bill Gates.
w++++ � I have Windows, Windows'95, Windows NT and
Windows NT Advanced Server all running on my
SMP RISC machine. I haven't seen daylight in
six months.
w+++ � I'm a Windows programming god. I wrote a VxD
driver to allow Windows and DOS to share the
use of my waffle iron. PS: Unix SUX.
w++ � I write Windows programs in C and think about
using `C++' someday. I've written at least one
DLL.
w+ � I've installed my own custom sounds, wallpaper
and screen savers so my PC walks and talks li-
ke a fun house. Oh yeah, I have a hundred
TrueType fonts that I've installed but never
used. I never lose Minesweeper and Solitaire.
w � OK, so I use Windows, I don't have to like it.
w- � I'm still trying to install Windows and have
at least one peripheral that never works
right.
w-- � Windows is a joke OS. Hell, it's not even an
OS. Windows NT isn't tough enough for me eith-
er. Windows'95 is how many times it'll crash
an hour.
w--- � Windows has set back the computing industry by
at least ten years. Bill Gates should be
drawn, quartered, hung, shot, poisoned, disem-
boweled and then really hurt.
OS/2
The OS looking a lot like Windows, acts a lot like Win-
dows, but is much better than Windows.
O+++ � I live, eat and breathe OS/2. All of my hard
drives are HPFS. I'm the Anti-Gates.
O++ � I use OS/2 for all my computing needs. I use so-
me DOS and Windows programs, but run them under
OS/2. If the program won't run under OS/2, then
obviously I don't need it.
O+ � I keep a DOS partition on my hard drive `just in
case'. I'm afraid to try HPFS.
O � I finally managed to get OS/2 installed but
wasn't too terribly impressed.
O- � Tried it, didn't like it.
O-- � I can't even get the thing to install!
O--- � Windows RULEZ! Long live Bill Gates (see
`w++++').
O----� I'm Bill Gates of Borg. OS/2 is irrelevant.
Macintosh
Many geeks have abandoned the character-based computer
altogether and moved over to the Macintosh. It in important
to give notification of your Mac rating.
M++ � I'm a Mac guru. Anything those DOS putzes and Un-
ix nerds can do, I can do better, and if not,
I'll write the damn software to do it.
M+ � A Mac has its uses and I use it quite often.
M � I use a Mac, but I'm pretty indifferent about it.
M- � Macs SUX. All real geeks have a character prompt.
M-- � Macs do more than suck. They make a user stupid
by allowing them to use the system without know-
ing what they're doing. Mac weenies have lower IQ
than the fuzz in my navel.
VMS
Many geeks use the VMS OS by DEC for all of their main-
frame and network activity.
V+++ � I'm a VMS sysadmin. I wield far more power than
those Unix sysadmins, because Unix can be found
on any dweeb's desktop. Power through obscurity
is my motto.
V++ � Unix is a passing fad compared to the real power
in the universe, my VMS system.
V+ � I tend to like VMS better than Unix.
V � I've used VMS.
V- � Unix is much better than VMS for my computing
needs.
V-- � I'd rather smash my head repeatedly into a brick
wall than suffer the agony of working with VMS.
It's reminiscent of a dead and decaying pile of
moose droppings. Unix rules the universe.
POLITICS
The last few years has seen the rise of the political
geek. This phenomena is little understood, but some theorize
that it has come about because of the popular media attempts
to demonize Internet and computer use in general, and the
government willingness to go along with it. Others propose
that the aging geek population has simply started taking an
interest in the world around them. Some support the `Sun
Spot' theory.
Political and Social Issues
We live is a society where everyone not only has a
right to, but is expected to, whine and complain about ev-
eryone else. Rate where, in general, your political views on
different social issues fall.
PS+++ � Legalize drugs! Abolish the government. `Fuck
the draft!'
PS++ � I give to liberal causes. I march for gay
rights. I'm a card-carrying member of the ACLU.
Keep abortion safe and legal.
PS+ � My whole concept of liberalism is that nobody
has the right to tell anybody else what to do,
on either side of the political fence. If you
don't like it, turn the bloody channel.
PS � I really don't have an opinion; nobody's mess-
ing with my freedoms right now.
PS- � Label records! Keep dirty stuff off the TV and
Internet.
PS-- � Oppose sex education, abortion rights, gay
rights. Rush Limbaugh is my spokesman.
PS--- � Repent left-wing sinners and change your wicked
evil ways. (Buchanan/Robertson in '96.)
Politics and Economic Issues
Social and economic attitudes are seldom on the same
side of the political fence. Of course, most geeks don't re-
ally care much about economics; having no money left after
buying new computer toys.
PE+++ � Abolish antitrust legislation. Raise taxes on
everyone but the rich so that the money can
trickle-down to the masses.
PE++ � Keep the government off the backs of business-
es. Deregulate as much as possible.
PE+ � Balance the budget with spending cuts and an
amendment.
PE � Distrust both government and business.
PE- � It's OK to increase government spending, so we
can help more poor people. Tax the rich! Cut
the defense budget!
PE-- � Capitalism is evil! Government should provide
the services we really need. Nobody should be
rich.
Cypherpunks
With the birth of the overused buzzword `The Informati-
on Superhighway', concerns over privacy from evil governmen-
tal bad-guys has led to the formation of an unofficial, lo-
osely organized band of civil libertarians who spend much of
their time discussing how to ensure privacy in the informa-
tion future. This group is known by some as `cypherpunks'
(by others, as anarchistic subversives). To this end, tell
us how punkish you're.
Y+++ � I'm T.C.May.
Y++ � I'm on the cypherpunks mailing list and active
around Usenet. I never miss an opportunity to
talk about the evils of Clipper and ITAR and the
NSA. Orwell's 1984 is more than a story, it's a
warning to our and future generations. I'm a
member of the EFF.
Y+ � I have an interest and concern in privacy issu-
es, but in reality, I'm not really all that ac-
tive or vocal.
Y � I'm pretty indifferent on the whole issue.
Y- � It seems to me that all of these concerns are a
little extreme. I mean, the government must be
able to protect itself from criminals and the
populace from indecent speech.
Y-- � Get a life. The only people that need this kind
of protection are people with something to hide.
I think cypherpunks are just a little paranoid.
Y--- � I'm L.Detweiler.
PGP
Pretty Good Privacy (PGP) is a program available on ma-
ny platforms that will encrypt files so that prying eyes
(particularly governmental) can't look at them.
PGP++++ � I'm Philip Zimmerman.
PGP+++ � I don't send or answer mail that's not enc-
rypted, or at the very least signed. If
you're reading this without decrypting it
first, something is wrong. IT DIDN'T COME
FROM ME!
PGP++ � I have the most recent version and use it re-
gularly.
PGP+ � `Finger me for my public key'.
PGP � I've used it, but stopped long ago.
PGP- � I don't have anything to hide.
PGP-- � I feel that the glory of Internet is in the
anarchic, trusting environment that so nurtu-
res the exchange of information. Encryption
just bogs that down.
PGP--- � If you support encryption on Internet, you
must be a drug dealer or terrorist or some-
thing like that.
PGP---- � Oh, here is something you all can use that's
better (insert Clipper here).
ENTERTAINMENT
Geeks love to play. No matter their age, all geeks en-
joy playing. Of course, the object of this entertainment ta-
kes a myriad of different forms. What's it that pushes a ge-
ek to play? Is it simply a desire to relive their childhood?
Or perhaps there's a piece of geeky genetic code that requi-
res intellectual stimulation. Who knows, maybe it's a Fre-
udian thing...
`Star Trek'
Most geeks have an undeniable love for `Star Trek' TV
show (in any of its different incarnations). Because a geek
is often synonymous with a trekkie (real geeks aren't so an-
al as to label themselves trekker), it's important that all
geeks list their `Star Trek' rating.
t+++ � It's not just a TV show; it's a religion. I know
all about warp field dynamics and the principles
behind the transporter. I've memorized the tech
manual. I speak Klingon. I go to cons with Vul-
can ears on. I have no life.
t++ � It's the best show around. I have all the episo-
des and the movies on tape and can quote entire
scenes verbatim. I've built a few of the model
kits too. However, you'll never catch me at one
of those conventions. Those people are kooks.
t+ � It's a damn fine TV show and is one of the only
things good on TV any more.
t � It's just another TV show.
t- � Maybe it's just me, but I have no idea what the
big deal with `Star Trek' is. Perhaps I'm miss-
ing something but I just think it's bad drama.
t-- � `Star Trek' is just another space opera. William
Shatner isn't an actor; he's a poser! And what's
with this Jean-Luc Picard? A Frenchman with a
British accent? Come on. Isn't Voyager just a
rehash of Lost in Space? Has Sisko even breathed
in the last two seasons? Come on. I'd only watch
this show if my remote control broke.
t--- � `Star Trek' SUX! It's the worst crap I've ever
seen! Hey, all you, trekkies out there, get a
life! (William Shatner is a `t---')
t* � I identify with Barclay, the greatest of the
Trek geeks.
`Babylon 5'
For many years, sci-fi geeks have wished for a TV show
that would overcome the limitations of `Star Trek'. For ma-
ny, a show called `Babylon 5' has met that demand, with a
deep storyline, exciting characters and state-of-the-art
computer generated effects.
5++++ � I'm J.Michael Straczynski.
5+++ � I'm a true worshipper of the Church of Joe who
lives, eats, breathes and thinks `Babylon 5'
and has Evil thoughts about stealing Joe's vi-
deotape archives just to see episodes earlier.
I'm planning to break into the bank and steal
the triple-encoded synopsis of the five-year
arc.
5++ � Finally a show that shows what a real future
would look like. None of this Picardian `Let's
talk about it and be friends' crap. And what's
this? We finally get to see a bathroom! Over on
that Enterprise, they've been holding it for
over seven years!
5+ � `Babylon 5' certainly presents a fresh perspec-
tive in the scifi universe. I watch it weekly.
5 � I've seen it, I'm pretty indifferent to it.
5- � This show is sub-par. The acting is wooden; the
special effects are obviously poor quality. In
general, it seems like a very cheap `Star Trek'
ripoff.
5-- � You call this sci-fi? That's such a load of
crap! This show is just a soap with bad actors,
piss-poor effects and lame storylines. Puh-lee-
se.
`X-Files'
The Fox Network's Friday evening show `X-Files' has be-
come the staple of Friday geekhood. Any show that has ali-
ens, governmental conspiracies, psychic powers and other we-
ird stuff is, by definition, a geeky show.
X++++ � I'm Chris Carter.
X+++ � This is the best show on TV, and it's about ti-
me. I've seen everything David Duchovny and
Gillian Anderson have ever done that been re-
corded and I'm a loyal Duchovny/Anderson fan.
I've converted at least ten people. I have eve-
ry episode at SP, debate the fine details onli-
ne and have a credit for at least two YAXAs.
X++ � This is one of the better shows I've seen. I
wish I'd taped everything from the start at SP,
because I'm wearing out my EP tapes. I'll peri-
odically debate online. I've converted at least
five people. I've gotten a YAXA.
X+ � I've converted my family and watch the show
when I remember. It's really kinda fun.
X � No hum. Just another Fox's show.
X- � It's OK if you like paranoia and conspiracy
stories, but let's face it, it's crap.
X-- � If I wanted to watch this kind of stuff. I'd
talk to Oliver Stone.
Role Playing
Role-playing games such as `Dungeons & Dragons' have
long been a part of the traditional geek life. Because geeks
often become so involved in their roleplaying that they lose
touch with reality, include one of the following roleplaying
codes.
R+++ � I've written and published my own playing mate-
rials.
R++ � There's no life outside the role of the die. I
know all of piddly rules of the chosen game. My
own warped rules scare the rest of the players.
R+ � I've got my weekly sessions set up and a charac-
ter that I know better than I know myself.
R � Role-playing? That's just something to do to
kill a Saturday afternoon.
R- � Gosh, what an utter waste of time!
R-- � Role-players are instruments of pure evil.
R--- � I work for T$R.
R* � I thought life was role-playing?
TV
Many geeks have lives that revolve around TV.
tv+++ � There's nothing I can experience `out there'
that I can't see coming over my satellite dish.
I wish there were more channels. I live for the
O.J.Trial.
tv++ � I just leave the TV on, to make sure I don't
miss anything.
tv+ � I watch some TV every day.
tv � I watch only the shows that are actually worth-
while, such as those found on PBS.
tv- � I watch TV for the news and `special programm-
ing'.
tv-- � I turn my TV on during natural disasters.
!tv � I don't own a TV.
Books
In addition (or maybe on the other hand), many geeks
have lives that revolve around books.
b++++ � I read a book a day. I have library cards in
three states. I have discount cards from every
major bookstore. I've ordered books from an-
other country to get my Favorite Author Fix.
b+++ � I consume a few books a week as part of a stap-
le diet.
b++ � I find the time to get through at least one new
book a month.
b+ � I enjoy reading, but don't get the time very
often.
b � I read the newspaper and the occasional book.
b- � I read when there's no other way to get the
information.
b-- � I didn't actually read the Geek Code. I just
had someone tell me.
Dilbert
Simply the geekiest comic strip in existence. http://w�
ww.unitedmedia.com/comics/dilbert/ for more information.
DI+++++ � I'm Scott Adams.
DI++++ � I've received mail from Scott Adams. I'm in
the DNRC (Dogbert's New Ruling Class).
DI+++ � I'm a Dilbert prototype.
DI++ � I work with people that act a lot like Dil-
bert and his boss.
DI+ � I read Dilbert daily, often understanding it.
DI � I read Dilbert infrequently, rarely under-
standing it.
DI- � Is that the comic about the engineers?
DI-- � Don't read it, but I think the dog is kinda
cute.
DI--- � I don't think it's funny to make fun of mana-
gers trying their best to run their organiza-
tional units.
DOOM!
There's a game out for the PCs and other computers cal-
led DOOM. It's a 3D virtual reality simulation where you ra-
ce around and blow things away with large-caliber weaponry.
This has led to a series of similar games such as the `Star
Wars' themed `Dark Forces'. Tell us about your abilities
with these 3D games (Yes, some of them aren't actually Doom.
Cope!).
D++++ � I work for iD Software.
D+++ � I crank out PWAD files daily, complete with new
monsters, weaponry, sounds and maps. I'm a DOOM
God. I can solve the original maps in nightmare
mode with my eyes closed.
D++ � I've played the shareware version and bought
the real one and I'm actually pretty good at
the game. I occasionally download PWAD files
and play them too.
D+ � It's a fun, action game that's a nice diversion
on a lazy afternoon.
D � I've played the game and I'm pretty indiffer-
ent.
D- � I've played the game and really didn't think it
was all that impressive.
D-- � It's an overly violent game and pure crap.
D--- � To hell with Doom, I miss Zork.
D---- � I've seen better on my Atari 2600.
The Geek Code
G+++++ � I'm Robert Hayden.
G++++ � I've made a suggestion for future versions of
the code (Note that making a suggestion just
to get a `G++++' rating doesn't count, you al-
so have to at least qualify for a `G+++' rat-
ing. :-)).
G+++ � I've memorized the entire Geek Code and can
decode others' codes in my head. I know by he-
art where to find the current version of the
code in the net.
G++ � I know what each letter means, but sometimes
have to look up the specifics.
G+ � I was once G++ (or higher), but the new versi-
ons are getting too long and too complicated.
G � I know what the Geek Code is and even did up
this code.
G- � What a tremendous waste of time this Geek Code
is.
G-- � Not only a waste of time, but it obviously
shows that this Hayden guy needs a life.
LIFESTYLE
Geeks, unlike the lower lifeforms known as nerds, have
lives. They have things to do that are in the outside world.
Of course, this is usually done with other geeks, but that's
not the point. The point is that geeks aren't necessarily
the outcasts society often believes they're. The fact is
that society isn't cool enough to be included in our activi-
ties.
Education
All geeks have a varying amount of education.
e+++++ � I'm Stephen Hawking.
e++++ � Managed to get my Ph.D.
e+++ � Got a Master's degree.
e++ � Got a Bachelor's degree.
e+ � Got an Associate's degree.
e � Finished High School.
e- � Haven't finished High School.
e-- � Haven't even entered High School.
e* � I learned everything there's to know about
life from the `Hitchhiker's Trilogy'.
Housing
Tell us about your geeky home.
h++ � Living in a cave with 47 computers and an In-
ternet feed, located near a Dominoes pizza. See
`!d'.
h+ � Living alone, get out once a week to buy food,
no more than once a month to do laundry. All
surfaces covered.
h � Friends come over to visit every once in a whi-
le to talk about Geek things. There's a place
for them to sit.
h- � Living with one or more registered Geeks.
h-- � Living with one or more people who know nothing
about being a Geek and refuse to watch `Babylon
5'.
h--- � Married. Persons living romantically with some-
one might as well label themselves `h---',
you're as good as there already.
h---- � Married with children � Al Bundy can sympathi-
ze.
h! � I'm stuck living with my parents!
h* � I'm not sure where I live anymore. This lab/
workplace seems like home to me.
Relationships
While many geeks are highly successful at having rela-
tionships, a good many more aren't. Give us the gritty de-
tails.
r+++ � Found someone, dated and am now married.
r++ � I've dated my current SO for a long time.
r+ � I date frequently, bouncing from one relation-
ship to another.
r � I date periodically.
r- � I have difficulty maintaining a relationship.
r-- � People just aren't interested in dating me.
r--- � I'm beginning to think that I'm a leper or some-
thing, the way people avoid me like the plague.
!r � I've never had a relationship.
r* � signifying membership in the SBCA (Sour Bachel-
or(ette)'s Club of America). The motto is `Bit-
ter, but not Desperate'. First founded at Cal-
tech.
r% � I was going out with someone, but the asshole
dumped me.
Sex
Geeks have traditionally problems with sex (ie., they
never have any). Because geeks are so wrapped up in their
sexuality (or lack of sexuality for that matter), it's im-
portant that geeks be willing to quantify their sexual ex-
periences.
This code also is used to denote the gender of the ge-
ek. Females use `x' in this category, while males use `y'.
Those that don't wish to disclose their gender can use `z'.
x+ � A female who has had sex
y+ � A male who has had sex.
z+ � A person (gender undisclosed) who has had sex.
For those persons who don't wish to give out
any details of their sex life, the use of `z?'
(Where `z' is the gender code.) will allow you
to do so.
z+++++ � I'm Madonna.
z++++ � I have a few little rug rats to prove I've
been there. Besides, with kids around, who has
time for sex?
z+++ � I'm married, so I can get it (theoretically)
whenever I want.
z++ � I was once referred to as `easy'. I have no
idea where that might have come from though.
z+ � I've had real, live sex.
z � I've had sex. Oh! You mean with someone else?
Then no.
z- � Not having sex by choice.
z-- � Not having sex because I just can't get any...
z--- � Not having sex because I'm a nun or a priest.
z* � I'm a pervert.
z** � I've been known to make perverts look like an-
gels.
!z � Sex? What's that? I've had no sexual experien-
ces.
z? � It's none of your business what my sex life is
like (this is used to denote your gender on-
ly).
!z+ � Sex? What's that? No experience, willing to
learn!
How to Display Your Code
Now that you have your ratings for each of the above
categories, it's time to assemble your code for displaying
to the world. Take each category you determined and list
them all together with 1 space between each one. If you run
out space on 1 line, continue it on the next. When complet-
ed, it'll look something like the following:
GED/J d-- s: ++>: a-- C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E---- W+(-)
N+++ o+ K+++ w--- O- M+ V-- PS++>$ PE++>$ Y++ PGP++ t- 5+++
X++ R+++>$ tv+ b+ DI+++ D+++ G+++++ e++ h r-- y++**
If you're going to place your Geek Code into your sig-
nature or plan file (highly recommended), you should create
your Geek Code block. This parody of the output created by
the PGP program will attempt to universalize how you'll see
the Geek Code around the net. Your Geek Code block will look
like the following:
-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK----Version: 3.1
GED/J d-- s: ++>: a-- C++(++++) ULU++ P+ L++ E---- W+(-)
N+++ o+ K+++ w--O- M+ V-- PS++>$ PE++>$ Y++ PGP++ t- 5+++
X++ R+++>$ tv+ b+ DI+++ D+++ G+++++ e++ h r-- y++**
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
As you can see, the actual code hasn't changed. Howev-
er, the version number of the code you're using is displayed
along with lines starting and ending the code. Make sure to
duplicate the start and end lines exactly as the example in
order to maintain a net-wide standard (ie. 5 dashes front
and back for the `BEGIN' line and 6 for the `END' line and
all capital letters.)
`HELP!' you scream as your mailer or news reader won't
let you post more than four +lines in the signature. That's
because some anal programs limit the size of your signature.
Your next best bet then is to put your Geek Code block into
your plan file and put something to the effect of `Finger
for Geek Code' into your signature. That, or get a better
mailer.
Where to find the Geek Code
The Geek Code is available at the following official
sites. All other sites aren't official:
Via World Wide Web:
http://krypton.mankato.msus.edu/~hayden/geek.html (HTML
Format)
gopher://vax1.mankato.msus.edu:79/~hayden (ASCII format
only)
Via Finger:
finger hayden@vax1.mankato.msus.edu (ASCII format only)